The crippling results of Mental Illiteracy

Solely thinking about how complicated, fast paced and packed with information life became the past decades makes me groan. Fortunately, groaning and wishing for better times never helped. To handle life’s increasing workload, trending psychological issues like bulimia, depression, burnout, procrastination, or escapism, (you name it), we earnestly need to take action. This post is an accumulation of concepts and ideas that lift’s the weight from your shoulders.

"Everything you are going through is preparing you for what you've asked for.

Unknown, but probably god

The day it happened.

It was April 1986. Technicians attempted a risky experiment where they tried to find out how long the turbine of their nuclear power plant would continue to produce electricity when they shut down the reactor itself. Doing so demanded overriding many safety mechanisms of the plant. This allowed the technicians to run the reactor at 7% energy level. However, to ensure citizens’ electricity supply, the technicians started to rapidly return to normal power levels by reinserting control rods. This was the single biggest fault in the history of nuclear energy. On April 26th, 1986, the chain reaction of Chernobyl’s block 3 went out of control and triggered a meltdown, releasing an unprecedented amount of atomic isotopes into the atmosphere for over one week. First responders broke down while trying to distinguish the fire caused by the explosion of the meltdown. Their bodies literally dissolved due to radioactive exposure.

Right now, in 2023, we are globally running a similarly risky experiment with our mental health. Since the majority of us weren’t educated on how our psyche works, there is no awareness about the safety mechanisms, let alone the subtle signs of the greatest supposed accidents that can happen to you: depression and burnout. It is literally the meltdown of your mind and is often irreversible. Never before in human history (except during wartime) have we had such high rates of mental diseases. According to a Deloitte survey, over 70% of employees witnessed depressive episodes in the US in 2021. Not only do many of us override the warning signals of our bodies, but most even feel obligated to do so until our bodies collapse. There is much to gain if we begin to understand the “vehicle” between our ears. Unfortunately, there is much more to lose if we don’t.

The Counterspell

We’re well-advised not only avoiding the GSA (greatest supposed accident) but triggering the exact opposite. Only a few of us still remember the feeling of having an empty mind, the calmness, peacefullness, natural humor or ambition, which slowly comes back after a prolonged holiday. But what if I tell you, that this is even possible without being far away from home? With the following 7 ideas and techniques, you will lift the pressure of your shoulders and sustainably secure the lightness and productivity you are missing in life.

1. Put your emotions where they belong

Moods are real, yes. However, they only come up if you let them. And how do they come up? By deciding to allow emotions to arise out of their neural wells. Emotions are basically a three-step process. You have no control over the first one, but you have control over steps two and three, which are 75% consciously influenced, according to my calculations.

Step 1: The event
- Your mother-in-law decided (again) to forcefully hand over her parenting advice and asks for confirmation from your spouse right next to you.
Step 2: The thought
In your mind, you are already considering rewriting the Wikipedia entry on Hawaii’s Mauna Loa, which used to be the largest volcano on Earth. Five seconds ago.
Step 3: The emotion
Frustration, disgust, and violence are just the tip of the iceberg of what’s going on inside of you.

Now, this is a typical conflicting situation within families all around the world. Violence is, of course, not the right solution for this. If you want to know how to professionally solve such a situation, I recommend reading about what hostage negotiators do to free captivated people without fatalities. The critical point here is: if you learn to control your thoughts, you will ultimately learn to control the creation of your emotions. This is basically like learning to drive a car. If you shift gears, your car will either slow down automatically or you will be able to drive even faster. Mastering the process of how thoughts materialize into emotions is a major milestone in your self-development. It will reward you infinitely the moment you take control over steps two and three and accept that you just can’t control which events life throws at you.

P.S. Yes, hormones are also a factor, but not in this post.

2. Stop trying to memorize everything

Especially the information you just have to store “quickly” until the afternoon. My personal guess is, it works out one out of ten times (yea, I am an optimist). The single most useful function of the supercomputer we carry in our pockets is the storage and reminder function. Use it. Every time you have to think about this information that you could have written down ten years ago, you are wasting mental capacity and time. Sure, right at this moment, it may only take ten or twenty seconds. But add it up over the next fifty years, and it becomes a tremendous amount of time wasted. And people will thank you for congratulating them on their birthdays on time 😉 I use Notion.so and Google Calendar to organize everything:

Calendar Events
To-Do Lists
Contacts
Financial Records
Passwords
Shopping Lists
Principles
Simple Notes and Reminders
Health Records
Travel Plans
Emergency Information
Diets
Workout Plans

3. Habitually ignore problems

Now you must be thinking I am insane. I am, to some degree. But literally ignoring problems I have no control over has freed up so much of my time and energy. It has made me able to focus on other things instead of constantly wondering about solutions for the transgender discussion, the toxic political environment, migration, war, symptoms of possible diseases, what people think about me, my reputation, and so on. Don’t get me wrong. If a subject is an integral part of your quality of life or job, and you have control over it, go ahead. But let’s be honest. Most problems we repeatedly ponder about only tear us apart, polarize us, or dissolve anyway without our need to act (that little pain in my throat, ugh).

4. What's the goal of this conversaton?

This question is pure magic. Whenever you approach a conversation, and the goal of this dialogue is “to be right,” then stop right there. Because wanting to be right has destroyed the dreams and lives of many. If your purpose is to find out the truth, well, that’s a different game. But having daily conversations for the sake of being right only feeds your lizard brain (it literally becomes bigger. Awful, right?). Yes, it is totally allowed to walk away from any bloodsucking argument that only feeds the ego of your bloodsucking opponent or yourself. Whenever you argue with someone the next time, ask yourself: what’s the actual goal of this conversation? You will be surprised by how much calmer you become with this upgrade.

5. Stop meeting expectations

Hands down: isn’t this the story of our lives? Aren’t most of us here for the sole purpose of meeting somebody else’s expectations? Teachers, parents, employers, the community. Like literally. It’s horrible how many women feel utterly uncomfortable saying that they don’t want children. The pressure is just unbearable. And I don’t claim to just not give a damn about anything from now on. But give a damn because you deeply care about something, and it’s aligned with your beliefs, values, and, lastly, your attitude. I would claim that the condition of constantly living the life of someone else is a big cause of depression and overwhelm. Viktor Frankl has some great approaches for this predicament.

6. Quit GossiP asap

I know, I know. This is something everybody is aware of, but somehow everybody enjoys. However, I’d like to make it unattractive to you because the effects of gossip are far worse than you may believe. What is said about the one who leaves their partner for someone else? Right, he or she will do it again. Gossiping not only deteriorates the relationship between you and your colleagues, friends, or family members but also with yourself. Because guess what?

If you gossip about others, you train your mind to do the same with yourself. You know exactly what I mean. That little voice that whispers in your ear at just the right moment about what an unworthy, unhelpful, unattractive human being you are. So, for the sake of your own mental health, become ruthless when it comes to spreading bad words about someone who is not around. It doesn’t matter if it’s the royals or your neighbor. Quit today. If you need to resolve conflicts, do so by humbly approaching the person yourself. If this person is not in your range, then you’d better let go. You’re doing yourself a big favor.

7. Become a mental wizard

Do you know those people who see a problem or an obstacle in everyone and everything? Do you feel caught? 😉 Well, if you had the choice between lifelong fulfillment and happiness or disease and disaster, what would you pick? An easy choice, right? Yet, we still often choose the exact opposite in the dozens of little choices we make every day. But relax, there is a reason for that. We partially still operate with an operating system from 200,000 years ago. Updates just aren’t that quick these days. So, stay calm and make the right choices to see everything that happens in front of you as preparation for what you have asked for. If you genuinely transform problems into challenges, bad days into part of the journey, setbacks into opportunities, or death into your compass, then you’re on a great path to conquering anything along your way.

Think about it...

Tony Stark once quoted that it’s not about me and not about you. It’s not about us either. It’s about legacy, what we leave behind for future generations. And I wish for you to have the courage to step beyond your fears and leave a legacy that future generations can build their dreams on, in harmony with themselves and nature.