How To Focus On What You Can Control: The Truth
We all know that time is a precious commodity. Yet so often we find ourselves squandering it away on things that are out of our control. Whether it’s worrying about the future of obsessing over the past: we can easily get caught up in things that only serve to distract us from what really matters. But today I want to challenge you to take a step back and reassess how you’re spending your time. In this blogpost we’ll take a laser sharp focus on what you can control.
what does it mean to focus on what you can control
It means making an irreversible commitment. Everything starts with a simple, but powerful and reflected decision: Do I want to waste my time on things in life, that are out of my control? Why don’t I want to do that? 5 reasons are enough. During a walk in the forest, these questions will be answered easily. Write them on a paper as soon as possible.
Focus on what you can control: Example
Today I make the irrevocable commitment to not waste my life anymore on things I have no control over:
→ I will not squander my life anymore worrying what others think about me. It degrades my dignity and self-esteem tremendously, which I don’t want.
→ I will not waste my energy anymore fearing what could go wrong, because it locks away all the things that could go right.
→ I will not squander my time anymore with worries about my age or disease, because there is nothing wrong with the nature of my body and life.
→ I will not waste my energy anymore fearing that I will not find the right partner. It only makes me feel worthless and isolated, which is not my true nature.
→ I will not misuse my life anymore being stuck in the past, because I spent too much time already worrying about what has happened and can’t be undone.
The next step is to reverse the question: Do I want to spend my life on things that I have control over? What are these things? Be very honest about what you really have control over. Write them down like above.
Today I make an irreversible commitment, to do my best focusing on things that I have control over:
→ I want to focus on the people I surround myself, because they greatly influence my life positively or negatively.
→ …
Why is it important to focus on the things we can control
Real talk. Aren’t there countless situations that make us feel inferior or degrade us to the passenger of life? Situations with our spouse, a disease, friends, family, colleagues or during the holiday? Too often we really just don’t have the possibility or power to take charge of the outcome. Interestingly the average human being has 80% negative thoughts over the course of the day. A huge chunk of that accounts to the fact that we try to control things we have no control over. Therefore, it’s a significant process to focus on what you can control. The simple task of defining what is controllable, what not and making a strong commitment can change everything. Life literally can change over a short period of time if one takes this assignment serious.
5 simple strategies that will let you focus on what you can control
1. Make a list about what you can control and what not
Be merciless. Make a list with two rows and define now and forever the things you are in charge and the ones you are not. Honesty is the key component with this tool. You may connect this to the commitment mentioned above.
2. Break down tasks into smaller steps
Especially with abstract assignments, like trying to focus on things you have control over, it’s crucial to break down the task into small steps. This helps you to get the feeling of being in charge of life. It’s a confirmation, that you are ready to focus on the right things. It could look like this:
Practice: Taking charge of my life
Step 1: Writing a clear list of what I am in charge and what I am not in charge.
Step 2: Practicing everyday by making little commitments when the moment arises. For example, when you see the cup with sweets on the kitchens table you can state “I made the irrevocable commitment to focus on things I have control over. I have control over my nutrition, therefore I put the sweets in the corner of the lowest shelf of my kitchen”.
Step 3: Tickle my triumph at the end of the day on my habit tracker.
3. Manage your time effectively
There is the saying that either life or you will plan your time. If you don’t plan your time for yourself, others will plan your time for them. Blocking time over the course of the day for tasks and events that are important to you makes the difference. Writing down the blocks in the calendar creates a binding character and doesn’t make it so easy anymore for others and yourself to slip. With this habit you will build a lasting feeling that you focus on what you can control.
4. Surround yourself with positive influences
Believe it or not, but there are forces outside that will condition you to focus on the things you have no control over. Recognize these forces and be cautious by how much you expose yourself to them.
Influences that condition you negatively
-> Tabloid newspaper
-> Regular exposure to instant gratification
-> Regular conversations about the failures of others
Influences that condition you positively
-> describing feelings in times of conflict instead of falling for emotions
-> a morning routine, which you created by yourself and not others for you
-> writing a journal
5. Take care of yourself
Too often we fall for the hamster wheel. You know, the things others want us to do, but we actually don’t see meaning in it. What are the events that make you feel joyful and fulfilled? It’s a small reminder for you to take care of yourself too. Focus on what you can control, you are worth it!
8 Things we have no control over
Other people's thoughts and opinions
We can’t control what other people think about us. There will always be people who think well and not so well about us.
Other people's behavior
We can’t control other people’s actions or choices, no matter how much we might wish we could.
Time
We can’t control the passage of time or slow it down. We can only give time more meaning.
Death
While we can take steps to promote health and longevity, we can’t ultimately control when or how we or our loved ones will die.
The health of loved ones
While we can offer support and care for our loved ones, we can’t always control their health or well-being.
The weather
How often do you catch yourself complain about the weather? Even if it’s not that serious, but also with little complaints we shift our focus to things we can’t control.
The economy
The economy became highly volatile the recent years. Especially with the advent of covid 19, it’s not only hard for companies to predict the future. Unfortunately, we have no control over the economy, therefore stay flexible and be ready for opportunities!
The future
While we can make plans and take actions to influence what happens in the future, there are always unpredictable factors that can impact outcomes.
8 things we have control over
Our thoughts
Focus on what you can control and choose your thoughts to direct your mind in a positive direction. This is especially important when we face outcomes, we have no control over. It’s your sole choice how you will react.
Our actions
We have control over our own behavior and the choices we make. All the little actions we take every day accumulate to a positive or negative outcome.
Our emotions
While we can’t always control how we feel, we can control how we respond to our emotions and manage them in a healthy way.
Our habits
We have the ability to create and maintain healthy habits that can improve our well-being and quality of life.
Our attitude
We can choose to have a positive attitude and outlook on life, even in the face of challenges and difficulties. Viktor Frankl provides life changing insights into this concept in his books.
Our relationships
Focus on what you can control and invest time and energy into building positive, supporting relationships with others. Don’t underestimate the power of the people your surround yourself with!
Our health
While some health factors may be outside of our control, we can make choices to promote our physical and mental health, such as eating well and exercising regularly.
Our environment
We can control aspects of our physical environment, such as our living space, or work environment, or the people we surround ourselves, to create a more comfortable, supporting and productive space.
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