How escapism slowly eats you alive
escape
/ɪˈskeɪp/
noun
An act of breaking free from confinement or control
So what is escapism?
There are a bunch of definitions for escapism on the web. Some suggest, that it’s a temporary escape from life into a desired reality. This can be gaming, cycling, watching movies, alcoholism or simply the smartphone in the bus. Others say, it’s a behavior of avoidance to dodge negative emotions.
Since the word escape itself means breaking free from confinement or control. When I hear escapism I’d like to think about someone who feels utterly out of control of his or her life in specific situations. Like an octopus catches its pray with super sticky tentacles.
Therefore in this post we’ll narrow down the meaning of escapism solely in connection with an aversion of uncomfortable thoughts and emotions (the feelings a specific thought evokes).
Don't look at the wound...
Escapism is rather a radical tool we have acquired, which doesn’t offer a soft version. It’s the extreme version of “don’t look at the wound, or you will faint”. Well, that works out if somebody treats the wound, but if you are bleeding and nobody stops the bloody mess, you will likely die anyway.
And this analogy pretty much describes the role of escapism in the western culture: Avoid dealing with it, or you have to face the harsh reality that something bad will happen. Our brain just got too good at avoiding unpleasent feelings. Knowing that we still have to face reality someday.
How we perceive the world
In Neurolinguistic programing, short NLP coaches convey the “meta program” as one of their first lessons. It’s the frame, through which people see the world. Everybody has a different meta program, which is formed over the course of a life. A huge junk of this frame is created in the early days of a life. Somebody who had very strict parents will likely develop a frame that promotes rebelous behavior. This person will seek for freedom, travel alot, trying out many different things, question ideologies and philosophies. They are triggered by vocabulary like exploring, adventure, risk or unconventional ways. This is what their meta program filters. Other people would just be fine sticking to traditional values.
But wait. If we “program” our mind to filter things from life, then “escapism” is also programed, right? Well, this is my theory. Unfortunately this behavior is a modern burden, thus not much research has been done so far. I believe that our brain is super smart and super quick in what it does. But if the working memory is overloaded, our brain has to react (for IT starters: the quality of a working memory describes how much information a computer can carry in its pockets, so specific information is quickly available without much waiting time). Some would also describe it as a “coping strategy”. But…
The quality of this “coping strategy”, escapism seems to vary from human being to human being. Some are able to permanently carry a huge load of information without escaping from it. Others are overstrained with the final exams of highschool. Therefore I believe we can expand the range when our mind tries to escape uncomfortable emotions. And this is where the bad news have its debut.
Unfortunately We have to
face the truth
We have to look at the wound, describe how it feels like, why it’s so painful and why we ended up with it in the first place. So we can avoid it in the future, or prepare when it will happen again. If we just constantly escape from the often harsh realities, we torture our mind with dozens of bleeding sores. The longer we feel and watch the mess, the more we’d like to escape from it. Sometimes we encounter people who recognize that we’re bleeding, but it’s not their job to sooth our wounds. We have to learn it by ourselves. At the end of the day, we want too look into the mirror, inspect our scars, retrive the lessons we have learned from it and feel a bit of proud, that we have dealt with it and stopped looking away. This is what I wish you to have the courage for.
It doesn't always have to be
the a-bomb
Mostly we escape rather trivial situations. Like the feeling of boredom. The feeling of sadness or temporary loneliness. However, this is where the odyssey starts. With the trivial things. Until we slowly pile up all the trivial situations. No matter where we go, when we wake up or try to relax on the beach: we carry this burden with us, that we are escaping life.
The way out
Below you will find an extensive list, why people practice escapism. Pick the ones that resonate with you and start dealing with it. I promise, that things will ease the moment you decide to stop running away from unpleasent feelings and find sustainable solutions instead. Until it becomes a new habit to look the devil right in the face and tell him “not today, my dear friend”.
What we escape from
Stress: The presures of daily life, work, and responsibilities can lead to seek ways to escape form the stress they experience.
Anxiety: Anxiety disorders and everyday anxieties can prompt individuals to seek relief through various forms of escapism.
Sadness: When dealing with sadness or grief, people may turn to escapism to temporarily alleviate their emotional pain.
Loneliness: Feeling of isolation or loneliness can drive individuals to engage in activities that offer social connections or distractions.
Boredom: A lack of stimulation or monotony in daily routines can lead to a desire to scape from feelings of boredom.
Anger: Escapism can provide a way to divert attention from intense anger or frustration, helping individuals calm down.
Depression: While not a long-term solution, some people may use escapism to momentarily escape the persistent feelings of depression.
Fear: Fear of specific situations, events, or the unknown can trigger the desire to scape or avoid those sources of fear.
Regret: People might turn to escapism to temporarily forget or distract themselves from feelings of regret or remorse.
Overwhelm: When faced with an overwhelming number or tasks or problems, individuals may use escapism as a way to avoid dealing with them temporarily.